Not when Elena doesn't know how long they'll allow her to be here. Not when she doesn't know if it's the last time she could see him before the ceremony begins. The relief that she feels at seeing him, it's momentary clouded her thoughts, or she'd have wondered from the start what the catch was. Why she was being brought to Ethan if what they wanted was to torture them as much as possible.
In retrospect it would all seem far too obvious, now that they've had more than their share of glimpses into Lucien's psychosis.
For now, she's just -- she's so relieved she gets to see him. The not knowing has been gnawing at her from the inside out. They've been all but quarantined in separate places scattered throughout the castle. Elena was starting to think if she didn't die in the ceremony she'd just as well lose her mind before it could even happen. She'd never -- she had never been confronted with this kind of evil. Even Klaus loved his family, despite his twisted, sick way of showing it. He was capable of his own brand of love.
Lucien doesn't love anyone or anything.
He is utterly void of humanity and he has absolutely nothing to love, and nothing makes him more dangerous than these two facts. There isn't anything he won't do to them, now that he's collected them as some kind of toy factory. He's testing the limits, seeing how far he can push before they break, before he does decide to break them completely and mold them to whatever his intentions dictate.
And she hates that this is Ethan's father. That this is their father and this is the whole reason he wanted to have them like they're puppets or soldiers instead of people. He is so much more than what he was 'made' for and she hates that Lucien has made him doubt it, for even a second. That he's torn away at all those things that make him who he is so that there's nothing left but that hunger.
She knows he's been starving them. Angering them. Forcing them to hear as the other is brutally dealt with, over and over, and taking that into consideration -- she doesn't know what she hopes for anymore. Whatever makes it stop for them. Whatever is best, even if it means they all die here. Elena would never pretend to know she has any idea what she's doing anymore. She lost that ability the moment they were taken, and she's acted on sheer instinct which is always to protect and save the people she loves at no matter the cost.
If she has to be a bad guy along with the others to make that happens, she would be more than willing to do so but there's nothing.
There's nothing to negotiate with. There's nothing to fight against anymore. They're in their cages, and they're just waiting for the moment where it can all be over. There's no plan, much less a back-up plan. She doesn't know where to begin, or how it could end other than the worst case scenario they'd envisioned, the one they'd tried to stop from happening at all costs and it still ended up being true.
Because that's their lot in life and there is no safe.
It's all she's ever wanted for them, too. She's wanted them safe and whole and happy, away from this whole mess. There's just no going back to what it used to be like, before their knowledge of Lucien, before the confirmation that what she is spells the exact same disaster that it did back home. Her life is no more important than everyone else's, and Elena was determined to not lose anyone else at the cost of hers though there is always collateral damage.
It's inescapable, and she pushes that aside too, keeping her hands on his face as she wills him to believe it. Elena trusts him, and she believes in him, whatever happens tonight. That's not going to change. She knows who Ethan is and what he'd want.
She isn't expecting him to lean forward but there's no hesitation on her end. No sooner he has moved forward she's kissing him back, tightening her grip on his face as she brings him closer, deepening the kiss against him. The tears stinging at her eyes in spite of herself as she gives it her all without leaving anything for herself, without leaving anything behind. All those things they never said. All those things she should've realized sooner and she didn't, and it's too late.
It always seems to be.
There have never been any guarantees, and Elenea breaks off in a gasp, keeping her hands on his face once he pulls back, too. She looks at him, swallowing back thickly the tightness locking up in her throat, pinching it painfully. "I wouldn't," she repeats, shaking her head almost stubbornly, and her voice is quiet now but no less certain. "Whatever happens, you have to know that."
There are so many stark differences on the surface it was hard to see at first, the core similarities that would later tie them together so strongly. The loyalty and their need to protect their loved ones only two of many, and Elena had always caught glimpses of it here and there at first, but she'd never understood how deep it ran until later. If there's something she does know, it's that Ethan doesn't leave.
It should've been allowed to remain a comfort.
She should've known better but she's been so stupid and foolish and selfish.
Elena doesn't know how she remains motionless on the floor when the whole of her wants to lunge forward and fight it with everything that she has. The horrified panic starts crawling up her chest until it threatens to seize the whole of her, and it cannot end this way. She grips the bars of the cell that much tighter, shaking them as if her strength has ever been competition for anything that's come her way.
She isn't half as strong as they are. She isn't half as fast.
She could just as easily be crushed under the weight of them and it doesn't matter how much inner strength she does have. She keeps clashing against them as if they'll budge because no, this cannot be happening. This cannot be happening and he can't do something like this and Ethan will not.
He would not.
Elena has never been confronted with the violent side of him. Elena has never seen him in his werewolf form, even, when the moon isn't full and she knows that's a very deliberate choice on Ethan's behalf. This is the sickest thing anyone could ever do to him and the rage swells in her chest until she thinks she might possibly choke on it.
"Ethan," she whispers helplessly when she sees the shackles dig into his flesh.
The urge to pummel him into oblivion is so strong when he smirks. The rage makes her shake quietly in place, and if she was alone she could even possibly manage enough snark to remind him those with glass houses shouldn't throw stones. The only filth here in her mind is him, but she can't bring herself to say anything in the face of what he's just revealed.
There's the horrifying realization still sinking down and down and down until she all but caves under the weight of it.
Elena yelps when the broken glass digs into her finger, jerking her hand away from the bars. The blood drips to the floor. Just one drop of it, and she immediately brings her finger to her mouth to suck on it so it's not -- the blood would only be temptation right now and he knows that. The fury and the indignation are only momentarily replaced by confusion at what he says. "What are you talking about ... "
Her voice trails off. She didn't think she could be more horrified except somehow he's managed to outdo himself. Elena stares in sheer mortification at the drain, realizing she's standing just directly below it. She takes several steps back, nearly stumbling along the way, her back once again meeting the stone wall.
She lets out a breath that's almost a cry, but not quiet, watching him leave in disbelief.
Her legs feel like they will give out on her at any second, and it's a miracle she remains standing. Lucien's form keeps retreating and the drain is still below them and Ethan's heaving in place and this is the nightmare. Lucien was right, of course, this is the real hell and they're the only ones living it and she kicks at the bars uselessly, not caring if she's bruising herself in the process.
"No! Wait. There has to be something you want more. Please," Elena calls out after him but it's useless. She rests her forehead against the metal shutting her eyes closed as if that alone will block out the rest, as if the gesture will make this not true but none of the nightmares she could ever dream up for herself would be quite this horrible.
The silence is deafening once the hatch above them closes and they're left alone.
There's no relief or comfort in the fact anymore.
Not now when they both know and the clock is ticking. She doesn't even know how many hours.
There's no telling, and she can't --
This can't.
"Ethan," she says again, dropping to her knees a few feet away from him. His reaction is painful, but her own is -- is difficult to conceal as she can't stop herself from shaking.
no subject
Not when Elena doesn't know how long they'll allow her to be here. Not when she doesn't know if it's the last time she could see him before the ceremony begins. The relief that she feels at seeing him, it's momentary clouded her thoughts, or she'd have wondered from the start what the catch was. Why she was being brought to Ethan if what they wanted was to torture them as much as possible.
In retrospect it would all seem far too obvious, now that they've had more than their share of glimpses into Lucien's psychosis.
For now, she's just -- she's so relieved she gets to see him. The not knowing has been gnawing at her from the inside out. They've been all but quarantined in separate places scattered throughout the castle. Elena was starting to think if she didn't die in the ceremony she'd just as well lose her mind before it could even happen. She'd never -- she had never been confronted with this kind of evil. Even Klaus loved his family, despite his twisted, sick way of showing it. He was capable of his own brand of love.
Lucien doesn't love anyone or anything.
He is utterly void of humanity and he has absolutely nothing to love, and nothing makes him more dangerous than these two facts. There isn't anything he won't do to them, now that he's collected them as some kind of toy factory. He's testing the limits, seeing how far he can push before they break, before he does decide to break them completely and mold them to whatever his intentions dictate.
And she hates that this is Ethan's father. That this is their father and this is the whole reason he wanted to have them like they're puppets or soldiers instead of people. He is so much more than what he was 'made' for and she hates that Lucien has made him doubt it, for even a second. That he's torn away at all those things that make him who he is so that there's nothing left but that hunger.
She knows he's been starving them. Angering them. Forcing them to hear as the other is brutally dealt with, over and over, and taking that into consideration -- she doesn't know what she hopes for anymore. Whatever makes it stop for them. Whatever is best, even if it means they all die here. Elena would never pretend to know she has any idea what she's doing anymore. She lost that ability the moment they were taken, and she's acted on sheer instinct which is always to protect and save the people she loves at no matter the cost.
If she has to be a bad guy along with the others to make that happens, she would be more than willing to do so but there's nothing.
There's nothing to negotiate with. There's nothing to fight against anymore. They're in their cages, and they're just waiting for the moment where it can all be over. There's no plan, much less a back-up plan. She doesn't know where to begin, or how it could end other than the worst case scenario they'd envisioned, the one they'd tried to stop from happening at all costs and it still ended up being true.
Because that's their lot in life and there is no safe.
It's all she's ever wanted for them, too. She's wanted them safe and whole and happy, away from this whole mess. There's just no going back to what it used to be like, before their knowledge of Lucien, before the confirmation that what she is spells the exact same disaster that it did back home. Her life is no more important than everyone else's, and Elena was determined to not lose anyone else at the cost of hers though there is always collateral damage.
It's inescapable, and she pushes that aside too, keeping her hands on his face as she wills him to believe it. Elena trusts him, and she believes in him, whatever happens tonight. That's not going to change. She knows who Ethan is and what he'd want.
She isn't expecting him to lean forward but there's no hesitation on her end. No sooner he has moved forward she's kissing him back, tightening her grip on his face as she brings him closer, deepening the kiss against him. The tears stinging at her eyes in spite of herself as she gives it her all without leaving anything for herself, without leaving anything behind. All those things they never said. All those things she should've realized sooner and she didn't, and it's too late.
It always seems to be.
There have never been any guarantees, and Elenea breaks off in a gasp, keeping her hands on his face once he pulls back, too. She looks at him, swallowing back thickly the tightness locking up in her throat, pinching it painfully. "I wouldn't," she repeats, shaking her head almost stubbornly, and her voice is quiet now but no less certain. "Whatever happens, you have to know that."
There are so many stark differences on the surface it was hard to see at first, the core similarities that would later tie them together so strongly. The loyalty and their need to protect their loved ones only two of many, and Elena had always caught glimpses of it here and there at first, but she'd never understood how deep it ran until later. If there's something she does know, it's that Ethan doesn't leave.
It should've been allowed to remain a comfort.
She should've known better but she's been so stupid and foolish and selfish.
Elena doesn't know how she remains motionless on the floor when the whole of her wants to lunge forward and fight it with everything that she has. The horrified panic starts crawling up her chest until it threatens to seize the whole of her, and it cannot end this way. She grips the bars of the cell that much tighter, shaking them as if her strength has ever been competition for anything that's come her way.
She isn't half as strong as they are. She isn't half as fast.
She could just as easily be crushed under the weight of them and it doesn't matter how much inner strength she does have. She keeps clashing against them as if they'll budge because no, this cannot be happening. This cannot be happening and he can't do something like this and Ethan will not.
He would not.
Elena has never been confronted with the violent side of him. Elena has never seen him in his werewolf form, even, when the moon isn't full and she knows that's a very deliberate choice on Ethan's behalf. This is the sickest thing anyone could ever do to him and the rage swells in her chest until she thinks she might possibly choke on it.
"Ethan," she whispers helplessly when she sees the shackles dig into his flesh.
The urge to pummel him into oblivion is so strong when he smirks. The rage makes her shake quietly in place, and if she was alone she could even possibly manage enough snark to remind him those with glass houses shouldn't throw stones. The only filth here in her mind is him, but she can't bring herself to say anything in the face of what he's just revealed.
There's the horrifying realization still sinking down and down and down until she all but caves under the weight of it.
Elena yelps when the broken glass digs into her finger, jerking her hand away from the bars. The blood drips to the floor. Just one drop of it, and she immediately brings her finger to her mouth to suck on it so it's not -- the blood would only be temptation right now and he knows that. The fury and the indignation are only momentarily replaced by confusion at what he says. "What are you talking about ... "
Her voice trails off. She didn't think she could be more horrified except somehow he's managed to outdo himself. Elena stares in sheer mortification at the drain, realizing she's standing just directly below it. She takes several steps back, nearly stumbling along the way, her back once again meeting the stone wall.
She lets out a breath that's almost a cry, but not quiet, watching him leave in disbelief.
Her legs feel like they will give out on her at any second, and it's a miracle she remains standing. Lucien's form keeps retreating and the drain is still below them and Ethan's heaving in place and this is the nightmare. Lucien was right, of course, this is the real hell and they're the only ones living it and she kicks at the bars uselessly, not caring if she's bruising herself in the process.
"No! Wait. There has to be something you want more. Please," Elena calls out after him but it's useless. She rests her forehead against the metal shutting her eyes closed as if that alone will block out the rest, as if the gesture will make this not true but none of the nightmares she could ever dream up for herself would be quite this horrible.
The silence is deafening once the hatch above them closes and they're left alone.
There's no relief or comfort in the fact anymore.
Not now when they both know and the clock is ticking. She doesn't even know how many hours.
There's no telling, and she can't --
This can't.
"Ethan," she says again, dropping to her knees a few feet away from him. His reaction is painful, but her own is -- is difficult to conceal as she can't stop herself from shaking.