If there had been a way, they would have found it. They are all fighters in their own way, and they all would have died for the ones they love. It’s something that connected them, and it made them a dangerous, volatile group when they were all together. The first night after kidnapping was the dinner party, which wasn’t a party at all to anyone other than Lucien.
They got a taste then. They watched each other die, have their bones broken, and be forced into a torturous situation with no hope and no choices.
Lucien has taken an endless number of lives, not only this year but every year prior to it. It’s hard to tell whether it was the years or the murders that finally twisted him into what he is, someone with no remorse, no humanity left, nothing.
Nothing but his hatred and his innate ability to tear people apart, rip them from the inside out, break them until they are nothing more than birds in the cage. He wasn’t- was not perfect at it if he was, Virginia never would have died. They never would have been saved from the ceremony.
His problem was as much as he hated that fire and that insolence, he wanted it too, wanted it like nothing else. A smarter man would have gotten rid of fires that never went out, but he wouldn’t… or couldn’t.
Logan has to believe it. They all do, and he does believe it. He believes Adam wouldn’t come back until they were absolutely certain that he was dead and gone, maybe putting his body in a cement block, tossing it to the bottom of an ocean to be certain. Maybe setting him on fire and scattering the ashes around. Whatever it would take to be certain that he is dead and won’t be coming back to get them, to capture them again.
Lucien is so talented at that.
He is talented at bringing out the darkest sides of yourself.
Ethan didn’t know that he- that he had suck dark parts of himself that were separate from the monster that is also there, the anger and rage that were there even when he doesn’t have something to be angry at. Logan found his own dark parts of himself, and because he wasn’t going to be remade, he wasn’t broken in the same way the youngest ones were.
They were all broken, but the older ones would more frequently be used to motivate the younger ones. He did get to see some of his brothers through the torturing. Never Ethan, never Elena or Sarah or anyone else but a few of his brothers he saw, every time, it was more painful than the last to know they could be separated and dragged apart from each other.
Elena always has a special way of reaching to Ethan, getting through to him about things that’s unlike anyone else, but his brothers have always had their own ways of getting through to him too. About different thing, in different ways. He loves them all very much, and they’re important to him always and he hates what was done to all of them, worried so much about all of them those days but he couldn’t feel relief, couldn’t… react. There was just no way- no way he could have spoken again unless it had been Elena, unless Elena had lived, unless he hadn’t killed her. He would have- would have stayed that way until he wasted into nothing.
There’s no way he could live with it, with knowing he’d killed her.
Logan wants so much, needs so much for them to all make it through this, because he can’t- there’s nothing else he can accept. His brothers went through hell, people he loves and cares for all went through hell and torture. By some miracle, they ae all still alive, and it has to- they can’t lose anyone at this point.
Ethan was thinking about her pain, about what she would go through, about what he would do to her though he tried so desperately to fight it. He wanted so much to stop it even if it meant he had to stop himself, choke himself with those chain, find something sharp, make himself bleed to death.
And she wouldn’t let him. Even if they had been long enough, it would be hard to go through with it with how she was pleading with him. He’s helpless to do anything but listen to her even when he wanted so desperately to keep him from killing her by any means necessary.
He breathes in. The panicky feeling in his chest makes his breathing… unsteady, panicked almost like he’s- like he’ll hyperventilate if he doesn’t breathe more slowly. It wasn’t her blood. It wasn’t her blood. It wasn’t her blood, and he doesn’t know how much or how long it will take him until that settles in. He can still remember puking up the blood on the ground.
Ethan nods when she promises him that’s what happened, and he needs to believe her for the same reason she needs him to believe. They both—they both need to believe it, and he’s latching on to it. “It wasn’t you,” he says, tears in his eyes.
His throat is really, really raw. Ethan can see her expression twisting into something painful too, and it hurts. It hurts to see it, but he doesn’t understand how she can love him after that, after what she—she had to have seen it even if he didn’t tear her apart and he would have torn her apart. Ethan has never fought so hard against a transformation into a werewolf before and- and he probably will fight that hard again, can’t think- can’t think about having to shift again.
“Yeah,” he says a little brokenly but he nods. “I remember. I kissed you, and we said.”
They said what they should have known a long time ago. Logan looks back at her, just as gratefully. Ethan’s speaking for the first time. His face is- he’s making faces, reacting to things. He’s grateful.
Ethan raises his gaze up to them, to his brothers. They see it too. He couldn’t hallucinate them too, right? He couldn’t hallucinate the entire situation, could he? “I- I know you would have. You would have if you were alive. You would have fought as soon as they took you away,” he says, and he does remember her. There’s not nothing. You didn’t hurt me, and he closes his eyes again, shaking his head as he would- he was so certain.
And then he it clicks that she is real, that she is with him, that they- she is alive and he wasn’t- she didn’t get taken and destroyed and torn to pieces, her beautiful… everything about her is beautiful and wonderful and Elena. And he wasn’t- she wasn’t ripped apart.
It’s me. Ethan looks at her, nodding, and he wants to touch her but doesn’t- can’t quite make his hands come up yet to do so. Her hands slide over him, and he reminds himself it’s real and she is real and she is alive as her hands slip over him. Ethan relaxes slightly, melting into her touch, because he never thought she’d reach for him again, touch him again.
Logan’s face has shifted into relief too, chest aching, and he finally feels comfortable taking a step away from the room. Whatever happened, Elena knows. Ethan knows. Logan has heard enough to… to have enough of an idea, and it makes him sick, but he wants to check in on Alek and his brothers, and this- they need this moment alone now that Ethan’s back, Ethan’s there. He feels like he can step away safely.
Ethan pulls her in. The relief that she’s alive and his love for her overpowers all that fear and hatred of himself and the parts of his body he can’t trust. He tightens his hold on her as his hands explore every part of her body to assure himself she’s all in one piece. His heart is beating so wildly, tears burning at his eyes as he buries his face against her hair and lets out a pained, shaky noise. “You’re here. I thought- I knew- They made me know I’d killed you. The screaming and the blood inside of me when I got sick, I was sick with—with blood, but it wasn’t yours. God.”
The word is strangled out of his throat, holding her close to him as he listens to every time she whispers it against him and he nods, tears slipping down his face.
“You’re here. You’re here and you’re safe, I’d never- never hurt you if-“ His face crumples and he rests it against her. “You’re here. I love you. I love you. You were going to- Elena.”
He breathes out incoherently almost, the words, all sliding together, but they’re there. He’s there. She’s there, and they- they made it to the other side.
no subject
If there had been a way, they would have found it. They are all fighters in their own way, and they all would have died for the ones they love. It’s something that connected them, and it made them a dangerous, volatile group when they were all together. The first night after kidnapping was the dinner party, which wasn’t a party at all to anyone other than Lucien.
They got a taste then. They watched each other die, have their bones broken, and be forced into a torturous situation with no hope and no choices.
Lucien has taken an endless number of lives, not only this year but every year prior to it. It’s hard to tell whether it was the years or the murders that finally twisted him into what he is, someone with no remorse, no humanity left, nothing.
Nothing but his hatred and his innate ability to tear people apart, rip them from the inside out, break them until they are nothing more than birds in the cage. He wasn’t- was not perfect at it if he was, Virginia never would have died. They never would have been saved from the ceremony.
His problem was as much as he hated that fire and that insolence, he wanted it too, wanted it like nothing else. A smarter man would have gotten rid of fires that never went out, but he wouldn’t… or couldn’t.
Logan has to believe it. They all do, and he does believe it. He believes Adam wouldn’t come back until they were absolutely certain that he was dead and gone, maybe putting his body in a cement block, tossing it to the bottom of an ocean to be certain. Maybe setting him on fire and scattering the ashes around. Whatever it would take to be certain that he is dead and won’t be coming back to get them, to capture them again.
Lucien is so talented at that.
He is talented at bringing out the darkest sides of yourself.
Ethan didn’t know that he- that he had suck dark parts of himself that were separate from the monster that is also there, the anger and rage that were there even when he doesn’t have something to be angry at. Logan found his own dark parts of himself, and because he wasn’t going to be remade, he wasn’t broken in the same way the youngest ones were.
They were all broken, but the older ones would more frequently be used to motivate the younger ones. He did get to see some of his brothers through the torturing. Never Ethan, never Elena or Sarah or anyone else but a few of his brothers he saw, every time, it was more painful than the last to know they could be separated and dragged apart from each other.
Elena always has a special way of reaching to Ethan, getting through to him about things that’s unlike anyone else, but his brothers have always had their own ways of getting through to him too. About different thing, in different ways. He loves them all very much, and they’re important to him always and he hates what was done to all of them, worried so much about all of them those days but he couldn’t feel relief, couldn’t… react. There was just no way- no way he could have spoken again unless it had been Elena, unless Elena had lived, unless he hadn’t killed her. He would have- would have stayed that way until he wasted into nothing.
There’s no way he could live with it, with knowing he’d killed her.
Logan wants so much, needs so much for them to all make it through this, because he can’t- there’s nothing else he can accept. His brothers went through hell, people he loves and cares for all went through hell and torture. By some miracle, they ae all still alive, and it has to- they can’t lose anyone at this point.
Ethan was thinking about her pain, about what she would go through, about what he would do to her though he tried so desperately to fight it. He wanted so much to stop it even if it meant he had to stop himself, choke himself with those chain, find something sharp, make himself bleed to death.
And she wouldn’t let him. Even if they had been long enough, it would be hard to go through with it with how she was pleading with him. He’s helpless to do anything but listen to her even when he wanted so desperately to keep him from killing her by any means necessary.
He breathes in. The panicky feeling in his chest makes his breathing… unsteady, panicked almost like he’s- like he’ll hyperventilate if he doesn’t breathe more slowly. It wasn’t her blood. It wasn’t her blood. It wasn’t her blood, and he doesn’t know how much or how long it will take him until that settles in. He can still remember puking up the blood on the ground.
Ethan nods when she promises him that’s what happened, and he needs to believe her for the same reason she needs him to believe. They both—they both need to believe it, and he’s latching on to it. “It wasn’t you,” he says, tears in his eyes.
His throat is really, really raw. Ethan can see her expression twisting into something painful too, and it hurts. It hurts to see it, but he doesn’t understand how she can love him after that, after what she—she had to have seen it even if he didn’t tear her apart and he would have torn her apart. Ethan has never fought so hard against a transformation into a werewolf before and- and he probably will fight that hard again, can’t think- can’t think about having to shift again.
“Yeah,” he says a little brokenly but he nods. “I remember. I kissed you, and we said.”
They said what they should have known a long time ago.
Logan looks back at her, just as gratefully. Ethan’s speaking for the first time. His face is- he’s making faces, reacting to things. He’s grateful.
Ethan raises his gaze up to them, to his brothers. They see it too. He couldn’t hallucinate them too, right? He couldn’t hallucinate the entire situation, could he? “I- I know you would have. You would have if you were alive. You would have fought as soon as they took you away,” he says, and he does remember her. There’s not nothing. You didn’t hurt me, and he closes his eyes again, shaking his head as he would- he was so certain.
And then he it clicks that she is real, that she is with him, that they- she is alive and he wasn’t- she didn’t get taken and destroyed and torn to pieces, her beautiful… everything about her is beautiful and wonderful and Elena. And he wasn’t- she wasn’t ripped apart.
It’s me. Ethan looks at her, nodding, and he wants to touch her but doesn’t- can’t quite make his hands come up yet to do so. Her hands slide over him, and he reminds himself it’s real and she is real and she is alive as her hands slip over him. Ethan relaxes slightly, melting into her touch, because he never thought she’d reach for him again, touch him again.
Logan’s face has shifted into relief too, chest aching, and he finally feels comfortable taking a step away from the room. Whatever happened, Elena knows. Ethan knows. Logan has heard enough to… to have enough of an idea, and it makes him sick, but he wants to check in on Alek and his brothers, and this- they need this moment alone now that Ethan’s back, Ethan’s there. He feels like he can step away safely.
Ethan pulls her in. The relief that she’s alive and his love for her overpowers all that fear and hatred of himself and the parts of his body he can’t trust. He tightens his hold on her as his hands explore every part of her body to assure himself she’s all in one piece. His heart is beating so wildly, tears burning at his eyes as he buries his face against her hair and lets out a pained, shaky noise. “You’re here. I thought- I knew- They made me know I’d killed you. The screaming and the blood inside of me when I got sick, I was sick with—with blood, but it wasn’t yours. God.”
The word is strangled out of his throat, holding her close to him as he listens to every time she whispers it against him and he nods, tears slipping down his face.
“You’re here. You’re here and you’re safe, I’d never- never hurt you if-“ His face crumples and he rests it against her. “You’re here. I love you. I love you. You were going to- Elena.”
He breathes out incoherently almost, the words, all sliding together, but they’re there. He’s there. She’s there, and they- they made it to the other side.